We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.

You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

Most of us believe everyone has a right to his own opinion - as long as it agrees with ours.

Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.

I don't know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you've taken a pill out?

I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.