I just wish insignificance had more stature.

No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.

I did not believe in the war. I thought it was wrong to go into any war. And I got to the war, and saw the Germans, and I changed my mind. I decided we were right going into World War II.

Don't take a butcher's advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he'd be a chef.

I've learned that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

When I write, I use an Underwood #5 made in 1920. Someone gave me an electric typewriter, but there's no use pretending you can use machinery that thinks faster than you do. An electric typewriter is ready to go before I have anything to say.

The Super Bowl isn't for kids, I had a great time though and it was worth every nickel of it because by doing this lame piece about the game I can put it on my expense account.