I just wish insignificance had more stature.

I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.

Never trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

I hope all of you are going to fill out your census form when it comes in the mail next month. If you don't return the form the area you live in might get less government money and you wouldn't want that to happen, would you.

No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.