Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty.

When you get older you have to be careful about always saying, "Things aren't as good as they used to be." But it's hard not to.

Being kind is more important than being right.

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.