One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole business because an army always tries to eliminate the individual differences in men.

I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you.

There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.

My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.