Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.

If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.

I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

The world must be filled with unsuccessful musical careers like mine, and it's probably a good thing. We don't need a lot of bad musicians filling the air with unnecessary sounds. Some of the professionals are bad enough.

A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don't know what they are talking about.