I've learned... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

No matter what any of the grammar teachers say, punctuation is an arbitrary matter. It should be used to make sentences clear.

My own time is passing fast enough without some national game to help it along.

When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.