Don't indulge in gossip. ... People who throw mudballs always manage to end up getting a little on themselves.

Blessed are they who hold lively conversations with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists.

If criticism is needed, do it tactfully. Don't use a sledgehammer when a fly swatter will do the job.

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

A cigarette is a roll of paper, tobacco, and drugs, with a small fire on one end and a large fool at the other. Some of its chief benefits are cancer of the lips and stomach, softening of the brain, funeral procesions, and families shrouded in gloom and grief. Although a great many people know this, they still smoke in order to appear sophisticated.

Don't indulge in gossip. ... People who throw mudballs always manage to end up getting a little on themselves.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.