People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.

All marriages are happy, it's living together afterward that's tough.

Women's magazines continue to print 'helpful' articles on How to Hang on to Your Husband while thousands of wives write to me and complain that 'hanging is too good for 'em.

Pity the poor millionaire. He'll never know the thrill of paying that final installment.

Make somebody happy today, and mind your own business

In recent years, there have been reports of people with twisted minds putting razor blades and poison in taffy apples and Halloween candy. It is no longer safe to let your child eat treats that come from strangers.

Friends with benefits? More than friends? Don't sample the goodies unless you're willing to risk addiction and withdrawal.