On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it.

I can drink like a fish, or at least, someone born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin.

I think my friends wife has been banging a black guy. Because they just had a baby. And the baby had a hole in it.

I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it.

I could see myself adopting a kid someday. But, obviously, I'd prefer it to be aborted.

About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?