I can stand by a tweet. But Comedy Central said they couldn't publicly support me, unless I deleted it. I wasn't about to tell the people who work for me that they didn't have jobs anymore because I wasn't going to delete a stupid tweet.
Anthony JeselnikMy neighbor complains every time my girlfriend and I have sex. We're not even that loud. But he used to date my girlfriend.
Anthony JeselnikWith comics, you always talk about a big break, but there are a lot of big breaks in your life and not one of them makes a big difference.
Anthony Jeselnik