The first time I had sex, I didn't know what I was doing. It was a relief when the whole thing was over after just 45 minutes.
Anthony JeselnikMy sister is going to have a simple wedding. Just immediate family. And whoever the hell would want to marry her.
Anthony JeselnikI know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.
Anthony JeselnikI have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it up in my persona. I felt like I wouldn't be able to do stand-up for a career if I was needy. I didn't want to be complaining or whining onstage. I wanted to be cool and do exactly what I wanted to do. That way I would never have to change for anybody.
Anthony Jeselnik