I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it.

You'll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old's cold dead hands.

I'm a realist all the way. I'm too cynical to be an optimist. But I've lived too much of a charmed life so far to ever be a pessimist.

People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.

Im not the voice of reason; Im more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.

Of all the ways people save time, I think racism is the worst.

I don't think people shouldn't try to be edgy, but you have to take what the audience says to you in consideration.