About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?

Hitler really wasn't so bad. In the black way.

When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.

Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade industry.

If your house is on fire and you can only escape with your life and one thing, what one thing would you take out of your house? I got to think my laptop is the one thing that is totally irreplaceable. Either that or my son. Laptop. I'll go laptop.

I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor.

Dark humor appealed to me because it was a bigger laugh than you could get with anything else. Seeing people laugh at something inappropriate with their whole bodies, a guttural, visceral laugh beyond a mere "hah."