I try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know what they are. I write them as fast as I can, then I put them away for a month. So I couldn't even tell you what they are, or if they're good. I just assume they weren't.
Anthony JeselnikI grew up in a poor family. I had to cut everyone's hair, because we didn't have money for entertainment.
Anthony JeselnikWhat do I care if someone doesn't like me. If I like someone other people hate, it makes me feel special. I think my fans feel that way.
Anthony JeselnikI've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.
Anthony Jeselnik