I've always been fascinated by dark subjects, especially people's reactions to them. Why are people so uncomfortable talking about death if everyone dies?

I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor.

Stereotypes wouldn't be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.

My girlfriend asked me if I only love her for her body. I said no, baby. Just parts of it.

I was a terrible employee. I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had, luckily, in a good way, or else I'd be stuck. I would always joke around with everybody, and no one enjoyed my humor.

I'm too cynical to be an optimist.

2010 has been awesome. I got to write on the David Hasselhoff Roast this summer, and that's always been a dream.