I was a terrible employee. I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had, luckily, in a good way, or else I'd be stuck. I would always joke around with everybody, and no one enjoyed my humor.

I don't have a type, really. But I've always been more attracted to girls who yell fire.

Hitler really wasn't so bad. In the black way.

My dad's been having a hard time lately. Keeps on losing his keys. Can't hang on to a set of keys to save his life. And he has tried everything too: little hook next to the door, little bowl next to his bed, keychain makes a noise when you whistle. Nothing worked. So finally, this year for his birthday, the whole family chipped in - and we put him in a home.

Watching soccer just makes me wish I was watching Foosball.

I let a friend set me up on a blind date. It was a disaster. She ended up being a burn victim. By the end of the night.

Stereotypes wouldn't be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.