I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.
Anthony JeselnikI can't talk politics with my cousin because he's such a hypocrite. He's against the death penalty and he hanged himself.
Anthony JeselnikEvery Sunday my dad calls to ask if I went to church. And every Sunday I lie and say: Sorry. Wrong Number.
Anthony JeselnikI try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know what they are. I write them as fast as I can, then I put them away for a month. So I couldn't even tell you what they are, or if they're good. I just assume they weren't.
Anthony Jeselnik