My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

Tom Cruise's pre-nup lets him keep his money, the kids and Katie Holmes.

I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird and people who are surprising and good at what they do.

When my girlfriend cooks dinner, I'm happy to do the dishes. Because I make her wash dishes when I take her to a restaurant.

When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.

My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.

In a late-night monologue, it's not just about being funny; you have to come off as knowledgeable. You have to cultivate a persona of trust and intelligence and likeability.