I tell very mean jokes.

My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet…oh my god, that f**king thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

With comics, you always talk about a big break, but there are a lot of big breaks in your life and not one of them makes a big difference.

I'm too cynical to be an optimist.

I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could attest.

I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it.