I tell very mean jokes.

I've got a long history of suicid in my family; the good news is it skips a generation, so, if I'm lucky, my kids will kill themselves.

I always loved comedy, but it never seemed like something that I could do professionally.

Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.

Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all, I only remember you for all the years you played an uppity slave on ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’.

I can't talk politics with my cousin because he's such a hypocrite. He's against the death penalty and he hanged himself.

I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.