Dark humor appealed to me because it was a bigger laugh than you could get with anything else. Seeing people laugh at something inappropriate with their whole bodies, a guttural, visceral laugh beyond a mere "hah."

I was raised Catholic. I rejected it later on. I'm an outspoken atheist now. People say, 'Oh, it's a negative thing to be an atheist.' I don't agree. I think it's more optimistic to think that there is no God, no afterlife.

Childhood obesity affects all pedophiles.

I enjoyed writing for someone elses voice, but I wasnt very good at it.

I don't want to wake up with cops surrounding my bed tonight.

Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

I never knew if I would get my own show, but I knew I loved stand-up.