My favorite part of going to a wedding is ruining the wedding.

I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.

Everyone has the same kind of fears; everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and I hope horrible things dont happen to my family, but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.

I'm inspired by making people laugh at subjects that should make them cry.

In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.

My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time.