I try to retire jokes as soon as I can once I put them on an album. But I can't think of anything I just stopped doing for no reason.

On the show, you have to be more charismatic, a little smoother, but I think I can still be that prince of darkness. You just have to learn the tricks of the TV trade as well.

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

I have a rare form of body dysmorphia in which I absolutely can't stand how good I look.

When I finished high school, I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18. And I could just have his motorcycle.

Silence means they [the audience] are paying attention. Even if I drop bombs and they're dead quiet, it's still okay. If they start talking, that's when you've lost them.

I love Pittsburgh. Most of my family still lives there and I try to get back a couple of times a year.