Silence means they [the audience] are paying attention. Even if I drop bombs and they're dead quiet, it's still okay. If they start talking, that's when you've lost them.

I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.

Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin.

With comics, you always talk about a big break, but there are a lot of big breaks in your life and not one of them makes a big difference.

Everyone has the same kind of fears; everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and I hope horrible things dont happen to my family, but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.

I want to marry the kind of girl that walks out of an abortion clinic with a lollipop.