In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.

The opposite of sad is down's syndrome.

My ultimate goal is to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. And that keeps changing. I didn't want to host my own show until I wrote for someone else's.

I'm really proud of the album. It's something I always wanted to do but I had to wait until I was ready. Shakespeare is a culmination of eight years of stand up experience and joke writing. I recorded two shows at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York. The crowds were great and that's what really makes an album.

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.

I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor.

God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.