Hitler really wasn't so bad. In the black way.

I have a twelve year old sex doll. Brand new.

One of my favorite things on the show was just getting to do my own monologue and talking about someone who killed themselves, or making a joke about some horrible tragedy - I love being able to fight for and get on TV. I just think it's so different.

I'm too cynical to be an optimist.

It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you.

I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.

I don't have a type, really. But I've always been more attracted to girls who yell fire.