I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.

I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.

Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy.

I grew up in a poor family. I had to cut everyone's hair, because we didn't have money for entertainment.

There is nothing that's off limits. If people think something is off limits, I make it my business to go make a joke about it; that's my job.

That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were upset.

My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.