I guess I prefer the laughs. I couldn't do a whole set of just shocks, but I like throwing a fastball inside every now and then to keep people on their toes.

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

I'm really proud of the album. It's something I always wanted to do but I had to wait until I was ready. Shakespeare is a culmination of eight years of stand up experience and joke writing. I recorded two shows at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York. The crowds were great and that's what really makes an album.

My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep.

I would love to DJ the royal wedding. Just so I could play Candle in the Wind non-stop.

My neighbor complains every time my girlfriend and I have sex. We're not even that loud. But he used to date my girlfriend.