I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable.

I don't ever want to have kids of my own. But I do want a lot of kids.

The world is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about. Laughter is a universal way to lift your head up and say: 'Not today, you bastards.'

God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.

I hated my mom for not letting me play football as a kid. So when I have kids someday, I guarantee they'll never meet their grandmother.

I don't think Metallica sits around all day wondering why country music fans don't embrace them.

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.