I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable.

I'll be very busy, which is all I need.

I let a friend set me up on a blind date. It was a disaster. She ended up being a burn victim. By the end of the night.

I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt be the bad guy in the joke; he couldnt upset people, really.

I had a happy childhood in a nice suburban area, pretty idyllic, upper middle class and very, very white. My dad is an attorney. My mother is a housewife. They had five kids in seven years: me, my brother, and three sisters. I'm the oldest. We were all very active. My mother was exhausted.

I like to play pranks on my girlfriend, you know, keep things fresh for me, make me laugh, you know? She hates it. But like, the other night, I put Saran wrap over the toilet seat, you know, which doesn't sound that original, but she's bulimic.

I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage.