On the show, you have to be more charismatic, a little smoother, but I think I can still be that prince of darkness. You just have to learn the tricks of the TV trade as well.

I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor.

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.

What do I care if someone doesn't like me. If I like someone other people hate, it makes me feel special. I think my fans feel that way.

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

My perfect night would be going out to an awesome restaurant, then heading over to the Comedy Cellar to hang out with other comics, drinking beers and making fun of each other.