On the show, you have to be more charismatic, a little smoother, but I think I can still be that prince of darkness. You just have to learn the tricks of the TV trade as well.

When I was seven, I broke my leg playing soccer. Just to feel something.

When I die, I want to be cremated with everybody.

I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.

I guess I prefer the laughs. I couldn't do a whole set of just shocks, but I like throwing a fastball inside every now and then to keep people on their toes.

I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the first place.

You'll get my assault weapon when you pry it out of my curious six-year-old's cold dead hands.