My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

Everyone has the same kind of fears; everyone has the same big problems in the world, which is, like, fear of death and I hope horrible things dont happen to my family, but they do. And I think people laugh at them as this great release.

The true meaning of Christmas is actually centuries of gullibility.

I would never hit a woman - even if she had a knife or a stutter.

I don't want to wake up with cops surrounding my bed tonight.

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.