Im not the voice of reason; Im more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.

I never go see live comedy shows because I just sit in the audience thinking, "Here's what I would say. Here's what I would do if I got up there." It drives me crazy.

I was a terrible employee. I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had, luckily, in a good way, or else I'd be stuck. I would always joke around with everybody, and no one enjoyed my humor.

Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin.

Mike Tyson, what can I say about you that hasn’t already been the title of a Richard Pryor album?

Watching soccer just makes me wish I was watching Foosball.

People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.