Im not the voice of reason; Im more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.

I'm a realist all the way. I'm too cynical to be an optimist. But I've lived too much of a charmed life so far to ever be a pessimist.

I actually never acted on "Deadwood." I have meetings all the time where people look at my IMDb page and see that I played the part of "Accounting Clerk" on Deadwood. Actually, I was the accounting clerk for production of "Deadwood."

My favorite sport is football. I'm a die hard Steelers fan. Favorite players were Hines Ward and Greg Lloyd.

My girlfriend asked me if I only love her for her body. I said no, baby. Just parts of it.

I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.

The first time I had sex, I didn't know what I was doing. It was a relief when the whole thing was over after just 45 minutes.