I don't think Metallica sits around all day wondering why country music fans don't embrace them.

My first time on stage was the class "graduation" at the Comedy Store. It was awesome. Everything got huge laughs and I just thought I knew how to do comedy.

I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day. Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.

My favorite sport is football. I'm a die hard Steelers fan. Favorite players were Hines Ward and Greg Lloyd.

Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade industry.

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.