I don't think Metallica sits around all day wondering why country music fans don't embrace them.

She got really mad a month ago, because she had e-mailed me a naked picture of herself - which is a nice thing to do - but then I messed up, and I accidentally forwarded that e-mail to both of my parents. Now, my girlfriend is furious, mortified, but I don't even care, 'cause now I have to call up my mother and say 'Mom, I am so sorry - that picture was just for dad.'

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.

I don't have much racial stuff in my act. And no one's ever really threatened me to my face. Threats on the internet don't bother me so much.

Im not the voice of reason; Im more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.

I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.

That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were upset.