You look like you deep fry your hands before you bite your fingernails.

Jeff Ross has been roasting people since Whitney Cummings was nothing but a glint in the eye of the man who raped her mother.

I don't have a type, really. But I've always been more attracted to girls who yell fire.

Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.

I try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know what they are. I write them as fast as I can, then I put them away for a month. So I couldn't even tell you what they are, or if they're good. I just assume they weren't.

I don't think people shouldn't try to be edgy, but you have to take what the audience says to you in consideration.

I was always fascinated by forbidden things people didn't want to talk about, like death.