I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the first place.

I'm trying to teach my girlfriend how to surf. But I just end up yelling at her the whole time. Because I don't know how to surf.

I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird and people who are surprising and good at what they do.

Everyone gets laid off and everyone in Hollywood gets unemployment for six months while they're looking for a new job. So I would just do stand-up for six months and think I was really making it, and when my unemployment ran out, I had to get another job immediately.

In a late-night monologue, it's not just about being funny; you have to come off as knowledgeable. You have to cultivate a persona of trust and intelligence and likeability.

I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.

I love Pittsburgh. Most of my family still lives there and I try to get back a couple of times a year.