I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.

New York was the glamorous town that you only see now in old movies and on Broadway stages. The sky was lit up with dancing neon signs. It was safe to walk out in the streets.

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?

Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.

I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week