I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.

Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

I don't know whether this is the best of times or the worst of times, but I assure you it's the only time you've got. You can either sit on your expletive deleted or pick a daisy.

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

The best things in life aren't things.

I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.

The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.