You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.

When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.