I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.

People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time.

I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies

Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?

I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.

I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.