I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.

I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.

Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week

I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.

The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.

I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.