My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's going on.

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough.

Don Quixote's 'Delusions' is an excellent read - far better than my own forthcoming travel book, 'Walking Backwards Across Tuscany.'

About every four years, someone says to me, "I've got a friend who looks exactly like you." What can you say to this?

I am 54 and age is slowly writing itself on my face.

If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s.

My eyebrows could do with a trim.