Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.

The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression.

Obviously I am not bothered about men's fashion - is anyone, apart from Jonathan Ross?

Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office.

The best way to prepare for a night out with a Shakespearean tragedy is to do a bit of reading up in the afternoon, eat a light supper - perhaps Welsh rarebit - and then arrive early to do some stretching exercises in the foyer before curtain-up.

About every four years, someone says to me, "I've got a friend who looks exactly like you." What can you say to this?