Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it.

My eyebrows could do with a trim.

My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's going on.

It is more interesting to be compared to someone famous, because it lets you gauge what perceptions people have about your appearance.

Obviously I am not bothered about men's fashion - is anyone, apart from Jonathan Ross?

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.