It was Julie Burchill who decreed that, beyond a certain age, a man should not be seen in a leather jacket.

About every four years, someone says to me, "I've got a friend who looks exactly like you." What can you say to this?

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

I couldn't really see the point of having lunch unless it started at 1:00 and ended a week later in Monte Carlo.

After you've read a novel, you only retain a vague memory of its contents. You remember the atmosphere, the odd image or phrase or vivid cameo.

I like doing things I haven't learnt about yet. I've always been interested in art, and I love doing art.