I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

I found a way for her to fall asleep, Paris Hilton, talk to herself.

When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.

I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.