When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

I have a bad gambling problem. You're not in show business for 12 years and dress like this without a bad gambling problem.

A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he'd ground out to second for him.

The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.

The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.

I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.