It's good to be alive.

I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.