One possible reason why things aren't going according to plan is that there never was a plan.

It costs money to stay healthy, but it's even more expensive to get sick.

Thanks to my computer, I have now achieved a much higher state of disorganization.

If you want to put yourself on the map, publish your own map.

All I want is a little more than I'll ever get.

Some of my troubles are so familiar, I know them by their first names.

The price of freedom keeps going up, but the quality keeps deteriorating.