Come on, man, I got a full beard!

I'm an optimist - I feel like an amazing part of life is that at any moment.

I was surprised to learn that research showed arranged couples tended to be happier in the long run.

For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

I think absurdist humor is funny.