You want what you can't have. And if someone's being shitty to you, just move on. If someone's being shitty to you, no matter how great they are, that's shitty, and you don't want be with someone who treats you shitty.

Do you realize how much better the world would be if we all just treated each other the same way black dudes treat magicians?

Regardless of your ethnicity or anything, if you do great work, people will notice and you'll get hired.

A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.

Come cook food with me and do nothing.

I live in L.A., I go on tour all the time, I'm in New York half the year - it's very hard to be in a relationship.

Sometimes you gotta work a little, so you can ball a lot.