I never had the desire to be a professional Twitterer. Every now and then something dumb pops into my head and I'll tweet it. I don't feel any obligation to respond to everyone. Not that I don't appreciate people sending me messages on there, but there are too many. Responding to everyone would take away time for all the stuff I'm actually in the business for.

The four sweetest words in the English language — 'You wore me down.'

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

I talk about stuff like my Blackberry, Lost, the internet, music, etc. so I guess that leads to the "nerd" moniker. But I don't get it that much to be honest. I guess its better than being labeled a "racist" comedian.

Maybe that's why I don't like religion because the first introduction to it was, you don't get to do that thing you just discovered that you really enjoy.

Oh, what's this in my shoe? Red carpet insole. Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.

A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.