You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.

Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!

One of the big things I miss about New York is not my friends so much; it's Shake Shack, the burger place. I miss Shake Shack.

As I always have with stand-up or anything, you kind of draw on what you're going through in your life.

Yeah, I've been a little down. Totally natural. I'm getting a divorce, but now I'm ready to pull myself up by some G-strings.

When you meet someone you really like and connect with, I think that's very special, and not to be taken for granted.

Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.