Every time I've done comedy in, like, traditional comedy clubs, there's always these comedians that do really well with audiences but that the other comedians hate because they're just, you know, doing kind of cheap stuff like dancing around or doing, like, very kind of base sex humor a lot, and stuff like that.

I like going out and I like being single, but a growing part of me would rather just stay home, cook food with someone I really like, and do nothing.

I think when people talk about improvising it turns into this silly thing like, "Oh there's like a hula hoop there and I'm like 'Oh what's going on here? Is this a really big ring?'"

You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.

If you believe that men and women have equal rights, if someone asks if you're feminist, you have to say yes because that is how words work.

You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.

I was a dishwasher at one of those Japanese places that cook on your table. Not too fun.